In this candid and introspective episode, Lee Gale reflects on the deep-seated fear of being alone and how it can quietly shape decisions, relationships, and everyday behaviors throughout life. Drawing from personal experience, the conversation explores how this fear can carry into the second half of life, often limiting independence and preventing meaningful experiences. Lee shares how early perceptions of loneliness can persist subconsciously, influencing choices even when they no longer make logical sense. This episode encourages viewers to confront those internal barriers, reconsider long-held beliefs about being alone, and embrace greater personal freedom and self-confidence in the next stage of life.
Lee Gale Gruen is a regular Podcast contributor for The Transitions Network. She is an actress, author, speaker, and blogger. She focuses on how retirees can customize their retirement to fit their own personalities, interests, and comfort level.
WEBSITE: https://leegalegruen.com
EMAIL: gowergulch@yahoo.com
BLOG: “Reinventing Yourself in Your Retirement Years” https://leegalegruen.wordpress.com
BOOKS ON AMAZON.COM:
“Reinventing Yourself in Your Retirement Years: Find Joy, Excitement, and Purpose After You Retire” https://tinyurl.com/33x9vmcx
“Adventures with Dad: A Father and Daughter’s Journey Through a Senior Acting Class” https://tinyurl.com/5d3yycjw
Click to see Full Transcript
Neil Rerup (00:00.76)
Hello, welcome, or welcome back to my podcast, Retirement Made to Order. I always used to be so afraid of being alone. I don’t mean alone for a few hours. I mean alone in life. That fear seeped into my everyday activities and still influences me. Yes, I have carried it into retirement, as have so many others.
How many more decades is that going to continue? I don’t have that many of those left. I must do something now. I’m sure some of my poor decisions in a few prior relationships stemmed from that fear. Better someone than no one. How many people remain in bad, destructive marriages, relationships, or friendships? Because the alternative
Being alone and unloved seems worse. I did. I remember in junior high school that if you were seen by a classmate outside of school, engaged in activities like clothes shopping or going to the movies by yourself, or worse, with your mother, you’d be considered as someone who didn’t have a pal to go with. A loser.
A friend recently confirmed that she’d had the same fear and still does. Now as a senior, I’ve learned to do many things by myself, without a second thought. However, there are still some activities that I avoid if I don’t have a companion. I don’t travel alone. I don’t go to a movie alone. I don’t go to a restaurant alone.
I reject those pursuits automatically without consciously thinking about them. Recently, I wanted to see a movie that all my friends had already seen. I simply told myself that I’d catch it on Netflix, and I moved on to thinking about something else.
Neil Rerup (02:18.167)
I know a lady who travels all over the world by herself. I admire her, envy her. I’d like to be able to do that. Just call a travel agent and be done with it. Even though I’m a personable woman and attract people easily, deep down inside, I’m afraid that if I travel alone, no one will talk to me. They’ll look at me with pity or scorn.
Because I don’t have someone to be with on a conscious level. I know that’s ridiculous. However, on a subconscious level, that old lesson from junior high school still controls me. I’ve vanquished so many old restraints and blossomed as a result. I want to break some others. How about you?
I’m Ligale Bruin. I hope you’ll visit me again here on my podcast, Retirement Made to Order, hosted by the Transitions Network. I will be posting new podcasts every week. Feel free to contact me if you want to commit or comment on any of my podcasts. You’ll find my email address in the information that follows or in the description at the beginning of this podcast.
Along with links to my website, my blog, and my two books on Amazon.com. Goodbye for now.