In this episode, Lee Gale Gruen reflects on the emotional challenges of aging in a society that places a high value on youth. Using personal experiences and everyday examples—from hearing aids and gray hair to cosmetic expectations—she explores how fear of looking old can influence behavior, identity, and self-confidence. The video highlights how resisting aging can sometimes diminish quality of life, while acceptance can open the door to greater ease, authenticity, and well-being. By questioning cultural assumptions and embracing the realities of aging, Lee offers a thoughtful perspective on how letting go of the pursuit of youth can lead to a more fulfilling and meaningful life.
Lee Gale Gruen is a regular Podcast contributor for The Transitions Network. She is an actress, author, speaker, and blogger. She focuses on how retirees can customize their retirement to fit their own personalities, interests, and comfort level.
WEBSITE: https://leegalegruen.com
EMAIL: gowergulch@yahoo.com
BLOG: “Reinventing Yourself in Your Retirement Years” https://leegalegruen.wordpress.com
BOOKS ON AMAZON.COM:
“Reinventing Yourself in Your Retirement Years: Find Joy, Excitement, and Purpose After You Retire” https://tinyurl.com/33x9vmcx
“Adventures with Dad: A Father and Daughter’s Journey Through a Senior Acting Class” https://tinyurl.com/5d3yycjw
Click to see the Full Transcript
Neil Rerup (00:01.004)
Welcome or welcome back. Some years ago, I had bunion and arthritis surgery on my left big toe and had to recuperate for several months. That really made me feel old. As a younger person, the words arthritis and bunions were associated only with old people. These days, an old woman has been stalking me. She follows me wherever I go.
She has the audacity to jump into every mirror I look at and mimic my antics. Although she seems vaguely familiar, I don’t know her, and I wish she’d go away. I’m sure a large percentage of retirees have had similar experiences and attitudes. Yes, getting old sucks is the prevailing thought. It is to be avoided at all costs.
including pushing ourselves to age inappropriate behavior, dress, and the exploding popularity of cosmetic surgery, pursuing that ever elusive youth ideal we’ve been sold. Although I try to fight it, I’m certainly a victim of it. For example, my hearing began deteriorating a few years ago. However, I resisted even exploring hearing aids.
since it smacked of being old. I went around missing part of what was being said in conversations, lectures, movies, and television, with of course asking people to repeat. When I finally got hearing aids, a whole new world opened up to me. What a jerk I was playing the youth game. We don’t resist getting glasses as we age.
because lots of young people wear glasses. However, we’ll shun a cane as we teeter off balance, chancing a fall and a broken bone. It’s only after the bone is broken we’re in pain and we spend months in a nursing home getting daily physical therapy that we admit to, I should have yada yada yada.
Neil Rerup (02:28.718)
Where does this all come from? This pathological race toward eternal youth? Is it Madison Avenue? Hollywood? What? It hasn’t always been this way. So many prior and current cultures of the world embrace aging. The elders are the wise of the tribe and are to be respected and emulated. Why can’t we go back to that?
The answer is we can, each in our small way. We can admit that we tire more easily and choose not to over schedule, just to keep up with our fictitious youthful self. We can use hearing aids, canes, low-heeled shoes, whatever, and have a better quality of the life left to us. No one will hate us for it. No one will shun us for it.
Some years ago, I let my dyed blonde hair grow out. It wasn’t an easy decision, and I was nervous about it, about looking old. I had been dying my hair since my 20s, and I didn’t even know what color it was naturally. It grew in a snow white. Friends who had previously been skeptical started admiring it.
Even strangers would comment on it in a positive manner. A well-known actress in her 60s, with whom I worked in a production for the Baby Boomer and Senior Market, remarked that I was the only one there without dyed hair, including her. I was becoming a pace setter to other friends. Some started letting their dyed hair grow out too.
We have all survived the experience and no one has ostracized us. We still have a good quality of life and lots of fun. Once someone gave me a left-handed compliment. Ligale, you look so good. Imagine what a knockout you’d be if you had your face lifted. I was amazed. I felt only sadness for her.
Neil Rerup (04:53.196)
My purpose in life is not to be a knockout by the youth definition. My purpose is to be as healthy as I can, to embrace life as it is now, and to enjoy it. I don’t have to wear the facade of youth to do so. How about you? I’m LeGail Gruen. I hope you’ll visit me again here on my podcast, Retirement Made to Order, hosted by the Transitions Network.
I will be posting a new podcast twice a week. Feel free to contact me if you want to comment on any of my podcasts. You’ll find my email address in the information that follows or in the description at the beginning of this podcast, along with links to my website, my blog, and my two books on Amazon.com. Goodbye for now.