Menopause Was Nothing Like I Expected

Hello friends and welcome. In today’s video, I’m going to be sharing with you what I learned about the things that aren’t shared about what to expect during menopause. I came to menopause completely ignorant of what the symptoms were, completely ignorant of what to expect. It just wasn’t something that I ever thought about. My mom went through menopause uh very quietly. It wasn’t something that she talked about or shared. So I in fact had no idea when she went through menopause and what symptoms she had except from perhaps what I saw and now in retrospect thinking back I can sort of picture okay that’s that would have been the time when she was going through menopause because of XY Z and I don’t want to go into her story. This is my story. So, I thought I’d share that with you and perhaps open up the lines of communication below so that we can share what it was that’s so strange about uh menopause and how as women we deal with it. And I’m not talking about all women. I’m talking about myself and how menopause impacted me, what symptoms from menopause I experienced because all the symptoms are completely different from one woman to the other. There are commonalities, but what one woman will experience is not exactly the same as what another woman will experience. And so, I thought we would, you know, expand on that. And while we do that, I thought that I would actually clean up this space, talk to you about some medication that I’ve started taking, some things that I’ve bought um to help me deal with menopause, and also go through my makeup because a needs a declutter, but b I also realized with the changes in my body, my skin, in my hair, that the makeup, some makeup that I used to use, some colors that I used to love, you know, 10, 20 years years ago no longer suit me and I actually have to amp it up or amp it down depending, you know, on on what I’m wearing. Um, also one of the things about menopause is that as your body changes, as your energy levels change, as your um time in life changes, whether you stop working or you go part-time or you go back to work, you know, your wardrobe changes and your needs every day change. So, I think I’ll talk about some of the wardrobe changes and just the things that I know have had now a strong impact in my life that perhaps have had an impact in yours and we can share experiences and have a bit of a communic have a bit of a conversation down below. I’m having a tea. I’m finding that lately, probably over the last six, seven months, I haven’t really felt like having coffee anymore. I will have it, but I feel almost like it’s not something I need. I used to have to wake up first thing in the morning and have a coffee. Now I wake up and have a tea and I’m quite fine with that. I will have teas throughout the day. I’ll have herbal teas, um, chamomile, peppermint, jasmine tea, all different types of tea. Just depends on what I feel like having at the time. And I find that that’s so much easier on my stomach, whereas coffee just seems to be a lot heavier on my digestion. I’ve been adding collagen into my tea for well over two years now. And especially during this phase of life, it’s become one of those non-negotiables. It’s a small daily habit that that just makes me feel like I’m actually supporting my body and not fighting it. And if you’ve been curious about trying it, the Collagen Co. are running a really big giveaway at the moment. For the month of April, they’re giving one person the chance to win a $50,000 dream holiday. To enter, you simply shop through their website during the month of April. And every dollar that you spend counts as an entry, which I think such a fun way to tie something that you’re already doing into something a little bit more exciting. I’ll leave all the details below. But for me, this is less about adding more into my routine and more about being consistent with the things that help me feel good. Is that something that’s happened to you too going through menopause that you no longer enjoy coffee or tea? Is there anything else like that that perhaps you found that’s changed? Something that you used to love and just now you look at you think nah not interested in that anymore? I went to the city on the weekend because I sorry, just an aside, I went to the city on the weekend because I just um there’s free public free public transport on the trains now in Melbourne because of what’s happening around the world. And so I thought let’s drive the car to the station and catch public transport and just make a day of it. I’m going have a look at what’s new, you know, at my David Jones, different stores. And I there’s a shop on the corner of Burke Street and maybe Swanson Street. It’s opposite Telra or opposite where Kmart and it’s it’s in a mall anyway. Opposite Strand Bags opposite Maya Da Jones. There’s a new I think it’s something like Copenhagen or something and it has the cutest little things um for stationery and then odds and ends of gifts and things you can find. And I fell in love with these pens. Uh they’re erasable gel pens. And look how cute the packaging is. And the pens are orange, yellow, green, and blue. And they’re basically right in that color. So I tested it out there. So you can see that there’s different colors of the gel pen. And I thought, how cute are these? It also comes with refills. So I thought, how cute is that? So I thought I’d put that in my drawer and tidy it up. I love getting new pens. It’s just it’s one of those things that just gives me little pleasures and it’s not too expensive. I think maybe this was $5, I think. So, what surprised me most about uh menopause, aside from the physical changes and the emotional changes, was the brain fog. And it really hits me when I’m talking to the camera because there are things that I want to say eloquently and then when I get in front of the camera, they just escape me and then I start talking in simpler terms because that’s just the only words that come to mind. So brain fog for me a really strong example of a a symptom um that’s been really highlighted. it’s really strong um for me in day by day just that brain fog that I have and so recently maybe three four months ago late last year I suffered from an attack of vertigo and it was extremely debilitating sorry I’m just tidying up my desk as I talk because I need to get this done and having a clear space where I work helps me have a clear mind so that it kind of eliminates a little bit of the fog. So, I’m hoping that that’s something that you also identify with that the sometimes having disorganized spaces also makes you feel a little bit disorganized mentally. So, I find that if I can tidy up uh my space, it helps me feel a little bit more in control, a little bit more organized, a little bit more feeling like, okay, I do have something. See, that’s what I mean about brain fog. It makes me feel like I’m in control and that I can have the clarity in my mind to be able to think about things because I don’t have at the back of my mind, I’ve got to tidy up my desk. My desk is a mess. I can’t get organized because, you know, I can’t think clearly because of the mess around me. So, I definitely think that having a clear space helps me in being able to have the mental capacity, the mental space to be able to say, okay, I can actually breathe and I can think clearly and I can be productive. I also found with menopause that my skin changed. So, and that’s I don’t think that that’s something that’s that’s mentioned when you when people talk about menopause, they immediately talk about hot flushes and night sweats, which charact, you know, agree. I I have had um hot flushes and I’ve dealt with them with isofly bones um immediately when they first happened and that seems to have cured it. I’m no longer taking is of fly bones because I had hot flushes, but I’ve started having now night sweats. I’ll just be sleeping comfortably and suddenly wake up during the night in a sweat. And so I have to, you know, uncover myself, put my leg out of um out of bed. Um and then once I cool down, I can cover up again and go to sleep again. And so I wake up maybe once or twice each night from night sweats, which you know, it’s something that people talk about. People don’t talk about the fact that as you go through menopause, your skin changes. is, you know, your hair goes gray. And I’m an advocate for just embracing the fact that my hair is going gray and just doing everything I can to be able to keep it healthy. I actually find that my hair is healthier now than it’s ever been prior to me going gray. Yes, it’s got that coarseness about it, but I can blow it out um using my hair dryer. But before when I used to color it, it used to be really dry, brittle, uh really thin looking and not healthy. So now it looks a little bit healthier. But going back to makeup, I found that where before I used to wear makeup that was quite um heavy um and even full coverage, even though my skin didn’t need it, I found I find now that I prefer something almost like a a BB cream. um something that’s got a little bit of a glow to it. Um I like using the IT Cosmetics Cissy Nude Glow. I’m almost finished that. Um and I only use it because I’ve got it. Um to replace that though, I can also use E.L.F. And my favorite one at the moment is just a simple Maybelline Perfector 4 in-1 glow. This just goes on uh and I’m number What does it say? I think 120 I think it is. No. 1.5 light medium. I hardly see this on my skin and it just evens everything out and I like that. But things like, for example, things like a really heavy coverage makeup for me just it doesn’t suit me anymore. It just it just it’s too heavy. In fact, I’ve been trying this sunscreen, a Larash Pay tinted, and I find that this is colored, and it’s what I’m wearing today, and I’m using it because I want to finish it. And I need to finish it now that it’s towards the end of um autumn while I’ve still got a little bit of a tan and color on my skin because once I go into winter, this will be too dark for me. Although it goes on well on the skin, I can just feel it and it’s quite heavy. It’s not like a uh this one here that I like. It’s not like the invisible fluid from Larash Pay that I’ve bought because I prefer this. This is something that I use regularly. I tried that because it had a tint in it and I thought that it would be able to replace my foundation and it has, but I find that it’s too too thick. Um, so it feels like I almost have to blend it in and really massage it in in order to be um absorbed by the skin. Whereas this one just goes in like a really light fluid, which it is what it is. It’s the invisible fluid and it just goes in so beautifully. And then I can just touch up the areas that I need to disguise, you know, with the dark circles, um, any discoloration on the skin, I can just go in with a concealer, um, or a a little bit of foundation like where did I go? My perfector 4 in one. I saw this at um Chemist Warehouse, a new foundation from Revlon. Photo Ready Lift and Feel Skin Tint. I’m really interested in trying it. I’ll let you know um what this is like in an upcoming video perhaps. And this is number 130. Oh, that’s pretty. I love that glow. I think I mentioned that a few months ago I suffered from a an incident of vertigo and it basically knocked me out. I ended up in hospital because I I was in terrible I’ll link the video below where I talk about it and I went to see my GP because she said that it wasn’t a symptom of menopause. was more and I think someone else mentioned it in the comments below that video that it’s the crystals in the ear um that go out of balance and so I would need to do exercises in order to fix that and go to see like a balance doctor and things like that. Anyway, it took me about 2 weeks um to get over the vertigo and that lightadedness and touchwood it hasn’t really come back. However, when I went to see my gynecologist, I well, sorry, backtracking. When I saw my GP, she said, “No, it’s got nothing to do with menopause because even men get vertigo.” And I thought, “Yeah, that’s I understand that. It’s true.” But I had never had vertigo. And even though I suffer from motion sickness sometimes, I’d never had that full-on vertigo effect where my head felt like it was spinning inside my skull. So, when I went to see my gym uh my gynecologist um this week, I spoke to her about it and she said, “Uh, no, it’s true. Um some women do suffer from vertigo during menopause. It’s just one of the symptoms that sometimes can happen.” And I spoke to her about my brain fog and the fact that, you know, nothing so far has really been able to help. You know, I take vitamins, I take um I take hair and skin and nails supplement in the morning, I take vitamin C, I take a vitamin D weekly and I take that twice a week according to as per my uh GP’s directions. And I take a daily iron tablet and sometimes I also take it twice a day. Um, this is because when I got tested after the vertigo incident, my doctor found that I was low in iron. And since I’m no longer menrating, it was like, well, where am I losing the iron from? Cuz I eat meat, I eat spinach, you know, I ate all the right things, but my body somehow is losing iron. So, she put me on to iron tablets and I’m due to go and get retested um probably next week just to see how my iron levels are. And of course, vitamin D apparently, even though we’re live in Australia and we spend so much time outdoors, it’s not enough for our bodies to have enough vitamin D. So, I’m taking extra vitamin D. So when I went to see the gynecologist, I spoke to her about that and I really went to speak to her about um HIT or what they call it now menopause hormone replacement and I said to her look there are so many symptoms of menopause and I’d like to investigate the possibility of going on HIT and seeing you know whether that improves it. the night sweats predominantly for me. Um the brain fog is a big one that I’d really like to get cleared up. And she did talk to me about the breast cancer risk of that. But I made the informed decision that I would try the hit for 6 months, see if that gives me any improvement and then take it from there. And she was okay with that. So she prescribed me a gel and a tablet. Um I’m not a doctor. Please go see your doctor anyway. But you can only get this through u prescription. So um she gave me the estrogel that I put on my arm uh once a day at the moment and then a tablet um that I take once a day. And this is supposed to provide me with the estrogen that I need that will improve some of my menopausal symptoms. Something else that I found really interesting, especially for myself, and and I’m interested in knowing whether you felt it too, as a menopausal woman, over the last 6 months, I found a distinct lack of interest. Not because I’m not interested in in looking modern or looking good in my body or presenting myself well, but more in that I’m not interested in following trends anymore, which and it’s sort of almost like an anomaly because I am interested in fashion and I will wear, you know, the latest jeans, but I’m not interested in just following a trend because everyone else is. So, for example, I bought new jeans because I needed to. All my old ones no longer fit. And so, I thought, “Oh, well, I’ll just replace them with the latest ones, which are the widelegged boyfriend style um jeans, which are super comfortable. Um, but currently the barrel leg jeans are really in. And I had a pair last year that I absolutely loved. I kept wearing them all the time. And this year I have another pair. It’s like I bought it over the summer time and I’m thinking I it doesn’t just it just doesn’t call out to me anymore. And I think it’s because I’m more interested in what in wearing something that feels right for me rather than what fashion dictates is right to be worn. So for example, I’m currently today wearing the wide-legged jeans. Super comfortable. Uh, I think these are Tommy Hill figure that I’ve had for many years because I actually bought these on one of our last holidays in the US or maybe actually no. I bought it in um at Maya um last year or the year before and they were quite snug on me and I was about to throw them out in a recent declutter and then I realized that they actually fit me and they’re sitting quite loose on me now which is super comfortable and super trendy at the moment. But I’m wearing them because I feel comfortable in them and I feel like I can go out and do whatever I need to do in them and look appropriate but feel like I’m put together. And I’m just wearing it with a a cable knit red jumper with the sleeves rolled up just because it makes it feel comfortable. uh belt and sneakers because I want to be comfortable but still feel like I’ve I’ve made a bit of a an effort. I’ve got a couple of stacked necklaces here around my neck um just to it up and some earrings uh that are favorites of mine that I just threw together because now I’m finding that I don’t want to look like a replica of anyone else. I want to embrace me. There there there are so many, you know, I I read something recently that said something along the lines of with so many copies in the world, be an original and be yourself or something along that vein. And I thought that’s so true. I mean, if we just copy what fashion magazines are telling us to be, then we’re just one of many. Whereas if we’re just ourselves, we’re just one of one, which is unique. And I thought that that really resonated with me and it just made me feel really good. And I feel like it’s almost like hitting menopause has made me more open to receiving that message. Whereas before menopause, I almost felt like I needed to conform um in order to be accepted, to fit in. Whereas now, I actually feel like I can fit in by just being myself. I don’t have to be anything else but that. And another thing that I’ve realized, or perhaps not necessarily realized, another thing that I’m noticing more of is not necessarily that people are telling me that I need to look a certain way or wear a certain thing, but I’m noticing so many influencers out there saying, you know, over 50, this is what you wear. over 40, this is what you wear. And for me personally, I wear what I feel comfortable in. Um, you know, I’ve had some viewers tell me, now that you lost weight, you should just, you know, wear something that shows off your figure. And I’ve never been one of those people that will you know wear skimpy clothes or um you know wear really low cut clothes or really short skirts. It’s just it’s never been me you know from the minute from teenager 20s 30s 40s to wherever I’ve never been the type of person to lead with the way my body looks. I hope I’m not I don’t mean to offend anyone who who doesn’t agree with that. Um it’s just that I’ve never been and it’s not the confidence because you know I will wear form fitting clothes but it’s not what I lead with. I like to lead more with the composition of the outfit that’s got something interesting. And I don’t think that this is video is going where I wanted to go. But what I’m trying to say is that I’ve never been a person to just put my body out there. And I’m noticing that there’s a number of women and influencers out there that are now my age that are saying the opposite. They’re saying, you know, if you got it flaunted, you know, you you don’t have to listen to what anyone tells you. Um, wear what you want, you know, and I agree with that. Wear what you want. That’s exactly what I’m saying. Wear what you want. Don’t wear what you feel societyy’s trying to tell you to wear. Don’t wear what marketers have got an interest in telling you what to wear. Wear what makes you feel comfortable and wear it in a way that makes you feel fresh. I don’t want to look like I did when I was 30 or 20 or 15. I want to look the best version of me at 58. I’m actually going through a stage where I want to look at the clothes that I already have and see how I can make them work better within the scope of what’s fashionable now. Okay? I’m not going to wear an outfit from 30 years ago like like I’m not going to be wearing one of those um remember the 1990s jackets with the big huge um shoulder pads that stuck out here um and the blue eyes shadow and it just it never looked good on me back then anyway, but it definitely doesn’t look good now. But anyway, I’m not going to wear those trends. But if I like a a loose uh boyfriend style jacket or if I like the way my husband’s jackets look on me, I will wear that because I like it, not because I’m trying to recreate the 1990s look or because, you know, the magazines say that that’s what I’m going to be wearing. Another thing that I noticed with menopause was the feeling that people say of being unseen. You feel invisible. And I think that that may happen when you feel a little bit depressed. I know that some days where I’m feeling a little bit blue, I really don’t feel like getting dressed. I don’t feel like getting out of PJs. But I forced myself to grab an outfit, grab a pair of dress that are comfortable, grab a top, add a belt, put on makeup, and do my hair so that when I look in the mirror, I feel like I’m presentable and I’ve made an effort. And that stops me from feeling invisible. I feel like sometimes if I were to just not wear makeup and not do my hair that I would actually walk through a shop feeling invisible because I’d be sort of hiding. I wouldn’t want anyone to see me. Not to say that there’s anything wrong with that, but for me, not wearing makeup, not wearing something cute feels to me like I’m creating uh that feeling of invisibility of not being seen. Whereas, if I take care of myself and of my presentation, then I don’t feel that. I I feel more confident. Uh let me know in the comments below how that’s hitting you, whether that whether it’s resonating with you. And you agree, how has that feeling of almost aging out of society impacted you? Because I do know, and look, I have three children that are are young adults now. And they’re at that stage in life that I was at, that you were at, that we’re all at in our 20s where we think we know everything. And so when I say something to them from, you know, 58 years of experience, they’re poo poo. It’s like, “No, it’s not like that anymore, mom. It’s was like that maybe when you were young, but it’s not like that now.” And that sometimes adds to my feeling of worth or not worthy because it’s like I know that I’ve achieved so much in my life, overcome so much. I kind of have experience that you don’t have and you don’t know it because you haven’t experienced it. So for you, for the young people, it’s almost like that’s not going to happen to me. But when you’ve lived life long enough, you kind of know that life is a roller coaster. It goes up and down and you have to learn to manage the ups and downs and and get over to the other side. So I feel like sometimes young people without realizing it are sort of in their inexperience are making me feel like you know I don’t have any value um in today’s society which is not true because I know that I’ve lived a full life and there’s a lot to contribute and me getting on camera is a way of promoting that of expanding on that. Um, what I want to do with my channel and with these videos is actually show an alternative of living beyond 50. Even though I’m no longer, you know, necessarily going out for the sake of going out, I want to show that there is life and there is something interesting in being able to find the interesting in the everyday life. Yeah, I think that was really good. finding the interesting in everyday life. Another thing that I found that uh menopause was very interesting for me was that sometimes I wake up and the brain fog, the cloudiness just makes me feel like what’s next for me in life? You know, I’m at the stage in life now where friends, you know, that I’ve that I’ve had are no longer with us. And so, I look at life now and I think I’m over the biggest portion of living my life. And now I have a finite number of years. And I don’t mean to be doom and gloom, but what do I want the next year to be like? What do I want the next five years to be like? that’s in my power. Um, and what do I want to leave behind as a legacy of who my version this version of Deborah is like? This version of you is like I encourage you to think about what is it you’d like to live leave as a memory when you’re gone. Because because that for me is very powerful. It’s no longer about, you know, uh, necessarily acquiring things. It’s more about what do I do with what I’ve got that’s going to be memorable. You know, how do I share my knowledge? How do I share my experience? How do I make the next few years of my life memorable but also engaging for me? You know, what do I want to do in the next stage of my life? you know, and Kevin and I are looking at possibilities of perhaps, you know, uh, renting out our home and living overseas for a few months, uh, you know, once Charlotte is a little bit older. But that’s something that’s really attractive for me because I think, okay, living overseas is expensive, but if you look at Airbnb for a month um overseas, it’s actually not that expensive. and then you experience something completely different to your everyday life. And that’s really something that I’m looking forward to doing and exploring. Um, let me know if it’s something that you’ve thought of doing. I know many of you have spoken about, you know, getting a caravan and traveling around Australia. I’m a creature of comfort. I like to sleep in my comfortable bed and have my kitchen and my bathroom and all my clothes with me. So, um I’m not I don’t think the caravan type, but I can see myself moving to Bali for a couple of months and living in Bali for a couple of months. Um and just living simply like that and and enjoying retirement um like that. So, provided health is good, that’s something that that I’m really looking forward to doing. And I think that that’s something that’s happened out of menopause or maybe aging. I don’t know. It’s all interrelated. You know, they used to talk about um a midlife crisis for men when they’d, you know, they’d go and sell their family car and go and buy a sports car. Um cliche. And I feel like with women, we go through that too, where, you know, perhaps we’re going to the stage where we’re empty nesters, where our children no longer need us. We’ve lived, you know, 20, 30 years being a mom, um, being a caretaker and suddenly we no longer have that role in life. What are we? Who are we? Um, you know, what do we do with the rest of our life? Um, do we, you know, sign for hobbies? Um, do we join a social uh network group, a new friendship group? And that’s something that’s really important. I have started uh looking at my health and fitness and uh as you know I’ve been doing reformal pilateses now for two years and I’ve really started noticing the changes in my body now that I’m leaner and surprisingly where before I used to do things like running and heavy weights in order to look a certain way I now find that reform polite is very gentle and yet very effective on creating long lean muscles that are strong for me going into this next stage in life where, you know, my bones are going to get weaker, my muscles are going to get weaker. And so, by exercising and having strong muscles to hold up my bones, it’s going to make hopefully um the next segment of my life healthier, uh less likely to end up with, you know, with needing hip replacements and and and you know, any broken bones and things like that. So with that, I’m finding that having a buddy that you go and exercise with is really helpful because the number of times that I will wake up in the morning, I go to Pilates first thing in the morning and I will roll over and I’ll think, “Oh, I had a horrible night’s sleep. I don’t feel like going to Pilates, I’m just going to cancel.” But then I think, “Oh no, I’m going with Charlotte to Pilates today, or I’m going with Tiffany to Pilates today, or I’m going to a shred class today. that I’m interested in. It only happens once a week. And so that little prompt of having a buddy, of having a reason why it’s important to go beyond just me feeling better afterwards is really important. So, I highly recommend that if you can create a buddy system with someone else, whether it be going for a walk or going to the gym and attend the same class, I find that that’s really helpful from stopping me to um be the first one to give up on myself and, you know, turn over and cancel my class because I’ve got someone else that I’ve got to show up for. I’ll actually end up showing up for myself too, which is really important, I think, as a as a a really strong motivator and not give up on ourselves and actually show up for ourselves the way we would show up for others. Another thing that’s really helping me to manage and understand menopause is talking about it with everyone. Anytime I see a friend of mine, I’ll talk to them about it. you know what do they do um to you know to help their body remain strong to deal with any menopause symptoms because the more we talk about it the more we share all the different symptoms that we have the more aware we are and the more we grow you know I’m reading books about menopause and I’ll link below some that I’m finding really useful there’s the doctor oh I’ve gone crazy menopause age like a girl and then there’s a cas cook one um talking about menopause I’ve just borrowed from the library that I’ve started reading that’s really funny and good. Um I’ll link them below in case you’re interested. Go check them out at the local library. Um it just opens up the conversation and it just it becomes something that’s that we can talk about as opposed to you know 20 30 40 years ago where no one talked about menopause. It was like a taboo subject that no one talked about. One other thing that I’ve realized that I’ve started doing with menopause is actually being a lot more intentional in caring less about the noise and more about what actually works. You know, there are so many people and companies that tell you you need XY Z, um you need this, you need a 20step exercise regime, uh you need these kind of clothing, you need those support shoes. I just like to try something that works and then when it does, I like to share it with you. And I’d like to perhaps continue this conversation in the comments below. If you found something that’s really helped you deal with menopause, whether it’s mental, physical, uh, aesthetically, let’s share in the comments below, cuz we can all learn from each other from that regard. I mean, I’m not an expert. I keep saying I’m the average woman and I’m fumbling my way through this stage in my life and sharing it with you in the hope that we can be open with each other and real with each other about all the changes that we’re going through and perhaps having a friend at the other end um that we can relate to and learn from. even little tidbits that we pick up here and there that we can share and communicate and I really grow together and create a nice community. So, those are the things that surprised me most about uh menopause. Let me know in the comments below what surprised you most about menopause. Um you know, how old were you? If you’re willing to share, if not, if you don’t feel comfortable talking about it in um in the comments below, do hop on over to Instagram and DM me and we can have a conversation there. Um, I’d really appreciate if you could um hit the subscribe button if you haven’t yet and hit the notification bell. There’s something weird going on with uh YouTube. I’ve noticed u my subscribers just aren’t getting notified or I’m getting to see my videos. There’s been a change in YouTube and it won’t necessarily show you the videos of the people you subscribe to. It will show you videos that it thinks you are interested in. But if you hit the subscribe button and hit the notification bell, at least you’ll get notified at the top of your screen that I’ve released a new video um that perhaps might interest you and you’d like to check out. Until next time, thank you for your time and I’ll see you in the comments below. Bye. I bought this for my husband to dye his eyebrows cuz he’s also going a little bit crazy. Um, and then I bought myself a dark brown because, as you can see, this is quite dark because I’m using currently, oh, what color is this? Real black. Uh, which is a little bit too dark for me. M55. I’ve gone for dark brown. And we’ll see what this looks like next time. And this for my husband.